Signs of a cheating spouse
We all know that familiar gut feeling we get when something is wrong. You may have recently started getting those feelings now when you think about your spouse when he or she is out, or at work, or whenever he is away from you. These are all feelings you would love to forget, but when you try talking to him he feels distant and cold while still being nice in the same way. You are starting to think you have a cheating spouse.
The most obvious sign your spouse is cheating on you is that he or she is very secretive. I'm just generalizing here, but in most serious relationships or marriages couples do NOT keep secrets from one another. In fact, it is quite the opposite of that. Couples tell each other everything, because if you can't open up and bare your soul to the one you chose to spend you life with, who can you be open with?
With that out of the way, I would just like to remind people reading this that the signs or methods found here are based off of my very own experiences and how I have dealt with my cheating spouse. This is in no way a reflection of your life, since I don't know you or your cheating spouse, so please do not be offended when I say things that may sound mean. This is just so that you are pushed to take action, if you do not, nothing will happen and you will continue having doubts for as long as your relationship stays intact (which may not last long, if you do not act).
Here's a little bit of background information from me and what my experience with cheating spouses are. I hope you don't mind me sharing my cheating stories, if you would like to skip to the signs just scroll down a bit farther and look for "End of my cheating story"
When I was 25, I was in love with someone who I have known for 3 years. We started dating when I was 24, and finally tied the knot when I was 27. He's a few years(3) older than me, he was the kindest, sweetest man you would ever meet. We both had great jobs, everything was good, we both wanted kids and it seemed like we had almost everything in common. The "perfect marriage" some may say, little did I know I would have to be dealing with a cheating spouse in two years.
After two years of being happily married, I found myself doubting his faithfulness to me. He stopped being sweet the first few months that he was cheating on me, he was also very very distant and we rarely talked the way we used to. There was absolutely no conversation other than what was necessary. No more small talk, and when I try to talk to him, he usually would just wave it off and say he was busy with work. This lasted about 2 to 3 months, and my suspicions grew.
The 4th month, at the peak of my suspicions I finally decided to research on the internet and found that the signs of a cheating husband listed on most sites was the same things I was experiencing. This hit me hard and fast, like an out of control airplane suddenly crashed in my house and the full force hit me directly. My whole world, my entire life, seemed like it has come to an end. There was nothing I could do for a few minutes. All I could think about was "Why is this happening to me?" "Did I do something wrong to make him cheat on me?". It stuck to me for weeks and I could not think of a good enough reason that he would cheat on me like he did. I was torn apart.
After that I began rejecting the fruits of my research and said it couldn't be true. It was merely all coincidence. On the fifth month, again from the cheating signs listed on most sites, I encountered even more signs. He started buying me gifts and started being nicer and sweeter. Sort of like he used to but this time, after being together for so long, I could 100% tell it was fake. It hit me again and I told myself to stop being pathetic and delusional. I have a cheating spouse, and I need to deal with it.
I took a more active approach. Creating an online diary to list every single thing I found that matched the cheating spouse signs on the internet. I won't be showing you the online diary though, it is too private and I have stopped looking at it myself. Once I have completed the list, gathered enough clues to his cheating one me, I researched on how to get even more "real" evidence. Those that can be a factor on whether you win or lose in court. I learned the different methods on how to catch a cheating husband, and got his secret affair out in the open. I did this by reading all of his text messages and listening in on calls. There are programs to help you with this, and I know they work because I am a happy customer. Those programs and cheating spouse gadgets I have kept to use to spy on my own kids' internet activities, quite useful. That is all I will share for now, thank you for reading this is the End of my cheating story
Signs of a cheating spouse
Here are some of the signs you can use to tell whether your spouse is a cheater.
1. Your wife suddenly starts shaving her privates. - In a marriage sometimes the wife will shave her privates if she is having an affair. She does this because she feels the need to show up as attractive and as sexy as she can for her new lover. If you have been together for quite awhile and she doesn't randomly shave, and suddenly she does, you can be sure something is up. Especially if she did not tell you she did, or you did not even have sex. If she did tell you, she may be trying to cover her tracks and say she did it for you. Not a very convincing sign of a cheating spouse, but well worth to keep an eye out for.
2. Your cheating spouse purchases lots of gifts - I call these "guilt gifts", usually this happens in the middle of an affair, when your cheating spouse starts to feel very guilty he or she will start to "justify" cheating and start giving you gifts or being extremely nice and helpful around the house. I remember he actually offered to clean the house. When does a guy offer to clean the house without wanting anything in return. You wife may start cooking you your favorite meal. This sign is even more noticeable if you have already experienced the other signs, and know but can't prove YET that you have a cheating husband or wife. You may not see this in the beginning of the affair your spouse is having, but after a while you will most certainly see this if your spouse has any sense of guilt and actually loved you to begin with. If it wasn't a serious relationship or your cheating spouse doesn't love you anymore, chances of this sign appearing will be minimal. Takes a cold bastard/bitch to not get affected on cheating on your wife or husband.
3. You find your cheating spouse has a new phone you don't know about - I hate to sound like I'm putting your marriage/relationship down, but if you do find a new cellphone and it has been atleast a week old, you may definitely have a cheating spouse. Why wouldn't your wife or husband tell you about a new phone? That is a very important thing in a relationship, a cellphone. It is used and usually you only give out the phone numbers to people you want to talk to. Why wouldn't your spouse give you their new cellphone number, unless he doesn't want to talk to you or she/he is trying to hide something from you. If I found out my spouse had a secret cellphone, I would begin to actively get clues that he is cheating, and you should too. This may not seem like a big deal, and your cheating spouse may also tell you it is not a big deal, but when push comes to shove, all they want to do is make sure they are not caught having an affair and will basically say anything to get out of this predicament. Do not let yourself be manipulated, especially for you guys, us women can be very manipulative (I'm sure you know). If a woman tells you because she "thought it was a cute looking phone", she's trying to manipulate you. Any attempt to change the topic would be a sign of desperation and you should know that.
4. Cheating spouses want to look more attractive and sexy - Some cheating sposes will like to look their best for their other lovers. In a relationship, when it has gone on for so long, it will eventually come to a halt or actually get "old". Meaning there won't be any more spontaneity, sex will probably be down to once a month, or even lesser than that. All of a sudden you find your husband or wife starting to exercise or go to gyms. This is common among cheating spuses. They will always want to look their best to keep the new lover interested and wanting him or her more. Look out for your husband or wife going to the gym regularly. If you have always wanted him or her to go to the gym, and they never wanted to do it, but now they do, it could be trouble and they aren't doing it for you.
5. Considerably more OR less sexual acitivities with you - Does your spouse seem to want more or less sex? More sex could possibly mean that they are "practicing" their new sexualy activities with you, or that they want to try out things they enjoyed with their new lover with you. More sex usually happens at the beginning of the affair with the new lover. On the other hand less sex could also mean that they are already compltely satisfied in their new affair. A cheating spouse who doesn't want sex, ESPECIALLY if it is a guy, is definitely getting it from someone else. It could be another girl. Or a nother guy for that matter. I've had friends who were married for years before finding out their husband's were actually gay in real life and were cheating on them with other guys.
6. Your cheating spouse heads directly to the bathroom - A very common sign that alot of people know about. What is a normal spouse's action when he or she comes home? To seek out their spouse, give them a kiss saying they are home. Not "Honey I'm home" but then heads for the bathroom instead of you. A normal spouse will always seek out their lover when they get home, there's nothing better to see than the welcoming arms of your lover. A common trait among cheaters is to head directly to the bathroom, and wash out and inspect themselves for any signs of cheating they may have, like lipstick, love bites, and scratches, which leads me to the next sign of a cheating spouse.
7. Cheating spouse has unexplained "wounds" - Do you remember when you first started dating. Kissing each other. Leaving love bites or secret markings on the other's body. That is one common thing that happens during an affair. It turns them both on, giving each other secret markings knowing what they are doing is forbidden. Check for any band-aids covering your spouse's neck, chest, thighs. Check on the back for any scratch marks or anything out of the ordinary that he could not possibly have gotten from work. If he or she is unable to give you a proper answer as to where they came from, you may have a cheating spouse on your hands.
8. Fetishes and other things unique to your spouse - You will have to watch out for fetishes you know your spouse is into. My exhusband loved to be roughed up and tied, so it was very easy for me to spot once I actually paid attention to the signs of a cheating spouse. He had markings on his ankles, which were almost always covered with socks when at home. One time also his hands had markings, rope burns to be exact.
9. Crumpled up bills - Once your cheating spouse slips up, and it will happen eventually, you should get the bills, reciepts and anything else he tries to hide. Credit card billings, bank accounts, all will help tell if you are dealing with a cheating spouse. Check your spouses pockets and watch out for these little things. Balled up papers and other reciepts may also contain details as to who the person he is cheating on you with is. If you would like to know who the other girl or guy is you will need more than to just look for signs, it involves spy programs. Be warned. Spy software will reveal very painful information. Sometimes it may even show you what your husband or wife is really like. Like talking bad behind you. My friend used to have a wife whom he loved very much, until he found out that she was calling him a "pathetic loser" behind his back. Even if it wasn't a full blown affair, with sex and everything, it involved an emotional affair with one of the neighbors. Being backstabbed and lied to is all that was needed, he divorced the bitch and is now happily married with kids.
10. Your spouse's friends seem "different" - Remember highschool and how it feels like when someone has a secret (usually about you) and everyone around you knows what it is and you don't. All you know is that they know something you don't. Well it's the same thing. Your closest friends, more importantly your spouse's closest friends. They most probably know about it, some may even be okay with it, especially if you aren't in good terms with your cheating spouse's friends. They may even give alibis and support the affair. This isn't unheard of. What you can do is check before you spouse leaves and ask where exactly they are going. They won't always say their friend's house, but when they do, you act normal and say your goodbye. After an hour or two, roughly how long you think before he/she gets to his friend's house, you call the friend's house to check if he is there. If he/she is not there at the friends house, do nothing and just wait for him to return home. When he gets home, you will have the opportunity to "play dumb". Ask things like how was it? Did they have a good time? What did they do? if he/she bites and makes up a bullshit story, bleed it out and let him/her make up a story. When they are done lying, tell them you called the friend.
Stay tuned for more articles, I hope this helped even just a tiny bit. Good luck, be strong and once you have decided to do something about your cheating spouse, please drop by the how to catch a cheating husband blog.
